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Monday, August 25, 2008
Summer's Gone
Yes, I know, it's only August 25th. It's a very comfortable 74 degrees; gentle on-shore breeze. It was cloudy and muggy this morning and now the sky is a beautiful blue with light, fluffy clouds. The leaves on the trees are still green. But I can smell it; feel it. Autumn in the air.

In general, autumn is my favorite time of year. Crisp, cool to cold nights with the stars twinkling brightly in the sky. Comfortable days with dryer air. The smell of the changes un the atmousphere obvious to me. But this autumn is bitter-sweet. I am not staying in Nova Scotia. My younger son decided to return to Michigan for the school year so I must return too. While I love my home in Michigan I have come to love, not just my home but the village, my neighbors (with one glaring exception) and everything around me here. I don't want to go.

Yes, I can look forward to staying next year. Joey will be 18 so I can give him more space. But I still have to pack up in the next week and prepare for the long drive back to Michigan. Loading up the car with luggage, art materials, Kaiser and the two bikes.

No, I don't want to go.

I am finishing up a project that must be done and in the mail by the end of the week. It is going well but I am finding the stress of finishing it is taking a toll. I know that, once it is done I need to pack up and I want to avoid that. I am good at that; avoidance behavior.

I was planning to hit the road by September 9th but we have a guild meeting (Mahone Bay Quilters) that I don't want to miss. My new friends, Sandy, Linda And Laurie want me to stay so we can do a presentation on the things we learned in the Karen Miller workshop. So, I will stay until the 10th. It will be the longest I have ever stayed...and I think this will make it all the more difficult to leave.

But, I have 4 couples who are coming on the 15th to stay here a week. They won the week in my condo in a fund raising auction last year at the Cheff Therapeutic Riding Center. I still have to finish hanging art on the walls and reorganizing my kitchen so that they can spend most of their time relaxing. I have put together a notebook of travel/tourist information for them so they can pick and choose what they want to do and see. As I went through the brochures I realized how little I had seen in the three summers I have been here. Next summer calls for a trip to Cape Breton for a week at least. And I still need to get a boat. I had one all set to bring home this past weekend but my dad had a fit that I was going to buy one. SO, I relented and didn't get it. I would love to be out on the water right now. In three years I have been out on a boat exactly three times. I don't like to lay on the beach or sit out in the sun doing nothing. I can't read in the sun as I get a migraine. But out on the water I feel so free. Next year, no matter what, I AM buying a boat!!

I met a marvelous man earlier this summer. His name is Christian and he's a sailing instructor. He's originally from Ft. Wayne, Indiana and spent many summers in Pentwater, Michigan. Now he lives in Washington, DC and has his business in Baltimore. I thought we made a real connection. We talked for hours. He walked me home. We talked more. He kissed me goodnight. I can't remember when a kiss felt so good. I haven't seen him or heard from him since. He left a couple of days later for a race in the states and he won't be back until next summer. Tel est la vie.

I'm feeling a bit lonely. I have been divorced for 2 years now. I had hoped to meet someone to spend time with, go to art shows with, talk to, maybe even a little romance. At this point I am done trying. It really seems to me that men focus so much on a woman's physical appearance that they make no effort to get to know the person. Every man I hear from wants a woman who is "athletic, trim, attractive." What's wrong with TRYING to be more athletic, trying to lose weight (hey, I've lost 30 pounds), and not butt ugly?" What amazes me is how many of these men can't even meet their own criteria. What makes a balding, somewhat chubby, 50+ year old man think a woman of 35-45 who meets their physical description is going to be interested in them??

News Flash guys: if a slim, trim, beautiful woman of 37 takes an intense interest in you it's probably because she's seen your $75,000+ car, your $100,000+ boat and your $500,000+ house.

Can she carry on an intelligent conversation on a variety of topics? Does she ever read a book on Oprah's list? Does she know anything about classical/jazz/blues?? Can she cook?

A friend of mine, a very attractive young man, recently started a relationship with an older woman who I also happen to know. She is fit (former gymnist) and trim (never had kids) and attractive and intelligent. She has never been married. Without getting to know her as a person he decided a relationship with her sounded great. He even talked about the possibility of marriage and children. A physical relationship quickly developed. (hey, what woman over the age of 37 wouldn't LOVE to be pursued by a very handsome, intelligent, athletic man more than 10 years younger than her). After less than two weeks my male friend discovered WHY this attractive, intelligent, fit woman is still single. SHE'S DEMANDING. She expected him to jump and run when she called. She expected him to restructure his entire life around HER schedule and needs. And when she didn't get her way SHE GOT PISSED OFF.

Lessons here: first, don't assume that an attractive person is also kind, considerate and patient. I may not look like Christie Brinkley (nor have her money) but I am not into drama or head games or control. I want friendship,companionship, a comfortable relationship with respect and space and a little romance.

The other lesson: just because the sex is great doesn't mean the rest of the relationship will be. Conversely, just because the relationship lacks that high drama doesn't mean the sex can't be great.

Sigh, anyone out there with a single brother willing to date a not-spectacular looking woman who is still a little over weight who is relearning to ride a bicycle (27 gears!!!!????? you have GOT to be kidding!!! I never mastered 10!!!), is a beginning kayak enthusiast, who loves to fish, sit on the deck in the evening listening to jazz, sipping wine and watching for shooting stars and walking a night in the fog????

teri
posted by Teri Springer @ 3:53 PM  
3 Comments:
  • At 10:07 PM, Blogger Marlene said…

    Teri,I think you missed your true calling, you should be a romance novelist. You must keep posting updates on the romance situation. I'm so glad he kissed you.

     
  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger Mary Helen said…

    The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. Tolstoy
    Imagine Peace! Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

     
  • At 11:47 AM, Blogger Debra said…

    When I decided to quit looking, my Prince Charming walked in the door. I was single 4 years between marriages but I dated every guy (who met my standards) that I could so I would know when Prince Charming did arrive. Hold out for the best!

     
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About Me

Name: Teri Springer
Home: Chester, Nova Scotia, Canada
About Me: Studio Art Quilt Associates for the Atlantic Canada Region (New Brunswick, Newfoundland/Labrador, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island). Quote:Apples and Wine: Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough & smart enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Now Men... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the hell out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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